top of page

Why You Shouldn't Rattle Can your AR: A Straw Man Argument.

Updated: Jul 27, 2021

Reasons you shouldn’t rattle can your AR-15

You’re puritanical. The AR series was conceptualized as a black rifle. This is in line with the long tradition of blued weapons, and rattle canning an AR-15 is sacrilegious. It’s almost as bad as rattle canning an M-1 Garand or granddads shotgun. It’s worked for years as a black rifle- you shouldn’t mess with success. If anything, you should put a wooden stock on it.

You’re a man, and that sun baked rifle proves it. Sure, black rifles soak up tons of radiant heat from the sun- but you’re a man. Suck it up. Besides, if you weren’t playing with that plastic toy of a rifle or Glock, and using a REAL man’s gun like a Garand or a 1911, you wouldn’t worry about such idiotic things as painting your gun.

Removing rust from a weapon is a religious experience- and rattle canning your rifle can take that away. Sure, it might help prevent corrosion, but polishing that barrel and covering it in oil is as important as consuming the host at Mass. Firearms are meant to be lovingly maintained with ritualistic tenacity. Ensuring that a firearm needs as little maintenance as possible is tantamount to heresy.

Contrast to camouflage is bullshit- real men don’t hide. A real man stands tall and let’s his enemy know he isn’t afraid. You hunt Coyotes? Shit, they don’t even know what black is. So what that rifles doesn’t blend in. It doesn’t have to. It just has to shoot commies.

The Army doesn’t do it, why should you? If America’s Army doesn’t paint their guns sand or green or whatever, why should you? It’s stupid and a waste of cash, and the Army knows it. They know black is best for a rifle, and they stick by it, even when they paint their trucks, use camo netting to hide arty, and buy stupid cammies (because REAL men don’t hide). Besides, no one notices a rifle anyway…

Like I just mentioned, it costs money- and do you really want to risk ruining your rifle with spray paint? The thing costs more than… Well, it costs a lot, and you don’t want to ruin its resale value by covering it in paint, now do you? Cause you’ll probably sell it anyway when you realize that the M-1 Garand and 1911 are all a REAL man needs anyway, and so you’ll sell that plastic piece of shit to get what grandpa used.

Wood is the new plastic. Listen, that AR is cute- really, it is- but let’s be honest with ourselves. Wood was used for literally centuries for making firearms for a reason. Because it works. Why change a good thing? If it ain’t broke- don’t fix it. Aluminum and plastic are just a fad, and will soon pass when people realize that wood is better. And wood- a good high quality wood- is already all the camo you’ll ever need. Because wood is naturally colored like something in nature- trees. Camo not required. Black and wood colored is all you will ever need.

Rattle canning a gun is UGLY. Seriously- can you imagine a better looking weapon than the M-1 Garand? All that beautiful wood and blued steel. Whereas that AR thing you got is just a mass produced economy version of a gun. And we know what massed produced means- junk. When you rattle can that thing, you’re just hiding that it’s junk. You know what isn’t? Grandpappy’s double barreled shotgun, and the M-1 Garand.

Given the above, it’s obvious why you wouldn’t rattle can your AR. It’s also obvious that the AR is a crap-tastic gun that no American really needs when there’s the M-1 Garand. You kids have no idea what you’re missing. AR’s are for girls.

Why you should rattle can your AR-15, a rebuttal to the above.

I don’t know what the above guy is smoking, but I don’t think he’s all that educated. So I’ll just rebut his reasons why you shouldn’t with mine as to why you should.

It’s your rifle- do with it as you choose. Murica.

There, rebuttal done.

16 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

I'm Turning into a Cynic.

I'm sure anyone reading this has already heard of or read about the leak from the Supreme Court about the majority opinion that seems to show that the court will overturn Roe v Wade. I'm sure there ar

Shifting to Supplementary Positions.

Recently, you may have noticed that posts from the Rambling Devil Podcast have been slowed way down. This isn't because I've given up. On the contrary, I'm working behind the scenes to try and ensure


bottom of page